(This is the third post in a series about “anchoring” and its effect on our happiness.)
Let’s say we drive across town on a road trip that goes through twenty traffic lights. When the lights are green we blaze through. When red, we stop.
Let’s also say the typical trip stops us at ten of the twenty intersections.
Now, let’s think about how our “anchors” might affect our attitude on the road trip. Remember from the last posts, an anchor is an unconscious starting point we use to evaluate things.
- We showed how a move into a $300,000 home could be perceived as good or bad, depending on the neighborhood we moved from.
- We showed how retailers can get us to buy expensive stuff by first showing us super expensive stuff. They anchor us to the super expensive, making the expensive look cheap by comparison.
Whenever we make comparisons, we do so from a starting point. We set an anchor, then evaluate.
So back to our road trip, imagine we anchor with an expectation: every light should be green. We hit the first intersection and blaze right through. We don’t even think about it because everything is going as it should.
Then we hit a red light. I can’t believe this. A two minute delay!
Then the next intersection is red too. Unbelievable, it happened again! We’re annoyed.
Then the next two are green, but the one after is red. Who puts these lights in and why do they take so long to change? Come on, turn green already!
We hit the ten red lights and are extremely disappointed ten times. It’s a frustrating trip. And we didn’t think much about the green lights because every light should have been green. The “all should be green” anchor influenced our judgment about all twenty lights. As a result of the anchor,
- We experienced ten neutral feelings (the green lights).
- We experienced ten extremely negative feelings (the red lights).
Now imagine the same trip with a different anchor: every light should be red. We think about how busy the traffic is and lower our expectations. There are going to be a lot of stops, but we’re going to listen to some music and chill as we go.
We hit the first green light and are pleasantly surprised. This is going better than I thought.
Then we hit a red light. Okay, business as usual. We’re neutral about it.
Then the next intersection is red too, but again, we expected it. We’re enjoying the songs on our playlist.
Then the next two are green, and we’re high-fiving. This is awesome! Two greens in a row? Man this is going better than we expected! The one after is red, and this doesn’t get us down because it’s just more business as usual.
It’s the same trip as before, with completely different feelings. We hit the ten red lights and felt neutral about them. They weren’t so bad. And every one of the ten green lights was a pleasant surprise. As a result of the new anchor,
- We experienced ten positive feelings (the green lights).
- We experienced ten neutral feelings (the red lights).
The same trip with a different anchor created ten positive experiences instead of ten negatives.
Then I think about all the “intersections” of life and how our anchors might be influencing them. How are we responding to the red and green lights in our relationships, in our career, in our finances? Are circumstances our problem or are anchors our problem?
It makes me think it’s possible to triple our positivity by changing our anchors, not our circumstances.