We all want to be highly effective. Which is why Stephen Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People has been so popular.
But while so many of us know the habits, we don’t live the habits anywhere near the way we’d like. We already have the knowledge. What we need most right now is power.
Fortunately, I’ve found where that power comes from and how to harness it. My new book Automatic Influence describes this power in detail, but the basic idea is that perception is the deepest power in human nature, like a red button in the basement of the mind. The way we see, meaning, the way we characterize and evaluate reality, automatically influences our emotions and motivations, which then automatically influence our decisions and behaviors.
In the book I describe this as the See-Feel-Act progression, illustrated here:
The Habit that drives the Habits: Start with perception.
Given the See-Feel-Act progression, and the power of automatic influence, the key change strategy must be, start with perception. Whenever we try to change our emotions or motivations or attitudes or behaviors without changing the perceptions that drive them, change is hard and doesn’t last. But when we learn how to change and manage our perceptions, the emotions and motivations and attitudes and behaviors tend to fall in line, automatically.
That means the habit that drives all Covey’s Seven Habits is, start with perception.
Now think about Covey’s Seven Habits themselves. Where do they fit in the See-Feel-Act progression? In the third stage. Habits are patterns of action. They’re in the ACT box.
Which means the habits themselves are driven by something prior, something deeper. To make the habits work, we need to get to the heart of the habits – the perceptions that automatically lead to the habits.
So let’s back up to the first box and uncover what I call the Seven Perceptions of Highly Effective People.
The first perception is, See self as powerful.
This is the root of Covey’s first habit, Be proactive. Once we see ourselves as we really are, as people possessing the power and freedom to choose our view of every situation, we tend to feel powerful and take action automatically. We realize that situations don’t control us. Circumstances don’t move us. Rather, our view of the situations controls and moves us. No matter what happens to us, we always have the power to choose the way we’ll see things. Which means we can always automatically influence emotions and behaviors in every situation.
Now, of course, some situations move us regardless of how we perceive them. If we get fired, we can’t get our job back by changing our perspective. If we step into traffic and get struck by a bus, that bus literally move us, no matter how we might think about it.
But there are vast areas in the psychological realm where this isn’t the case at all. People can insult us, and we can choose to forgive instead of retaliate. Bad things can happen, but we can keep our humor and hope. In the landscape of the mind, will, and emotions, perspective is the prime mover, not circumstance. This is the secret of our freedom and power. It’s what the Greek philosopher Epictetus meant when he wrote, “Men are not moved by things, but the views which they take of things.” The thing isn’t the key. The view is the key.
Since we have the power to change our view, we have incredible power and freedom. And because we see ourselves as having the power and freedom to choose our view, the automatic response is to use that power, to be proactive.
We’ll cover the next six perceptions in my next two posts.