The see-feel-act pattern from previous posts (High Sees, Seeing how we see) tells us that if we want to be different, we must first see different. Our root beliefs, meaning the way we see ourselves, others, the world, or the situation at hand, grow into the branches and leaves of feeling and behavior.
Given this see-feel-act pattern, the first step to being better is seeing better. When we can change the way we see ourselves, our situation, and so on, the feelings and behaviors tend to follow.