In several posts now I’ve been discussing the see-feel-act pattern, showing how our root thoughts (the way we see) grow naturally into emotions and behaviors.
An old sailor story illustrates…
- We’d been in training maneuvers with other ships for several days in heavy seas. I served on the lead battleship, on bridge watch as night fell.
I reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
“Is it steady or moving astern?” asked the captain.
“Steady, captain.” We were on a collision course with the other ship.
“Signal that ship,” said the captain. “Advise you to change course twenty degrees.”
A signal returned, “Advise YOU to change course twenty degrees.”
The captain said, “Send, I’m the lead captain, change course.”
The signal returned, “I’m no captain. But you need to change course now.”
The captain was furious. “Send, This is the lead battleship, the largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet, followed by three destroyers and seven support vessels. Change course!”
The signal returned, “This is a lighthouse.”
We changed course.
Notice the see-feel-act pattern in the captain, before and after the lighthouse reveal. Before, he saw an oncoming ship and a defiant subordinate. His feelings and actions grew naturally from what he saw. He was angry. He spat commands.
But then his seeing changed. And his feelings and actions naturally followed. No more anger. No more power tripping. He instantly and unquestioningly changed course.
When the way we see a situation changes, everything changes.