Last post I told the story of Danny’s promotion. Here’s the story again:
The manager comes to Danny’s desk and says, “Danny, you got the promotion.”
Five workers overhear the conversation and react. Henry is happy, Susan is sad, Anna is angry, Frank is afraid, and Nick feels nothing at all.
Why the different reactions?
Because of the five different ways each worker “sees” the situation.
- Henry is happy because he sees something good: an opportunity to get Danny’s old job.
- Susan is sad because she sees something bad: her close friend Danny leaving her.
- Anna is angry because she sees something bad as well: an unfair boss. She was up for the promotion and more qualified than Danny.
- Frank is afraid because he sees something bad: his job in jeopardy. Danny is the only one who goes to bat for him.
- Nick feels nothing because he sees neither good nor bad. He’s new and all the coworkers are strangers.
Whenever we see something with our physical eyes, or imagine something, or remember something, we instantly characterize it and evaluate it. We decide what is happening, and how good or bad it is. This, in turn, has an instant impact on our emotional response.
This has powerful implications for the way we live our lives, which we’ll explore in posts ahead.
For more on this, get the free download of my upcoming book, Automatic Influence.